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caileycostello

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but really I'm not actually your friend, but I am. [Dec. 29th, 2005|01:38 pm]
[mood | artistic]
[music |greatful dead "truckin'"]

I held my baby cousin, Scarlet, today. :). I finally got over my fears. she is so amazing. and everyone says she looks just like I did. aka: she got some sweet genes. haha. but she pukes like I did too. haha. anyway, to make a long story short we got along really well :).

I went to the zoo yesterday. it was so much fun. all my pictures on my myspace now are pictures from yesterday.

I have so many ideas of things to paint for my portfolio. I am going to apply for the artisans scholorship. and probably not get it. but why not try? I need something to do with my art besides set it all in a box in my room.

my mom and I are hanging out today. which is cool because I havn't been home all week. gah. I do NOT want to go back to school wednesday. there is still so much to do! like going to the science center and paint and learn guitar and have a movie marathon. etc.
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he kissed me :) [Dec. 28th, 2005|08:12 pm]
[mood | pleased]
[music |the twistoffs]

so finally after over three years of liking eachother we finally kissed. how insane is that? the fact that we were both so nervous around eachother that it took us this long? and it's not even like either of us are unexperienced at all. which is the funniest part. I just wish he didn't have to go back to school in two weeks. aka: move back to being five hours away. I'm still recovering. gah. I am such a nerd. but we've hung out two days in a row now. last time he was home we hung out and I got mad at myself for doing it because I realized I still like him. [mentioned at the bottom of the sep. 11th entry] I've just decided to give in. but I don't think he's ever moving back. even after he graduates. damnit. damnit. damnit.


so I was finally alone with the crazy mom at work on tuesday. and we actually had a really serious, really benneficial conversation. she actually helped me alot. monday night I had so much on my mind that I couldn't fall asleep until 5:00am. but I talked to her about it. she could surprisingly see right through me. but anyway, she helped me soo much, and I am done worrying about it. thank goodness.


I don't want this to end.




oh! I got my acceptance letter to BW on christmas eve + scholorship. holla. it took under a week from when I applied.

and I got a sweet guitar for christmas. I start lessons friday.

and cavs tickets.

and much more.
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my goodness. [Dec. 23rd, 2005|11:47 am]
[mood | excited]
[music |sean paul.]

two days until christmas.
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I just found this survey in my journal from 8th grade. I thought I'd update it. [Dec. 20th, 2005|10:39 pm]
[mood | good]
[music |sean paul]

Name: Cailey.
Birthday: march 12.
Location: north olmsted.
Zodiac sign: picses.
Shoe size: eight and a half.
Height: 5'5".
Eyes: blue.
Pets: one cat.
Siblings: two brothers.
Hair color: red.
Hair length: a little past my shoulders.
Ever dyed your hair?: no.
What color?: none.
Do you play sports? baseketball.
Where were you born? around here.
Are you a night or a morning person? umm. depends on if I have to go to school.
Are you ticklish? ...yeah.
Do you believe in god? no.
What's your screen name?: pigglywiggly2631.
Do you have braces?: no.
Do you have glasses/ contacts?: yes. glasses.

Getting personal
What do you want to be when you grow up? artist or an art teacher.
What has been the best day of your life? I'm not sure. I've had a lot of good days.
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? no. no. naw.
What are you most scared of?: I used to be really scared of bison, and my brother actually just called me and told me one was on the loose.
What do you usually think about before you go to bed? how I have procrastinated all day and will be trying to get up early and do my homework.
If you could be anything without consequences, what would u be?: I don't know.

Favorites
Movie:a nightmare before christmas and shaun of the dead probably.
Song: I like a lot of songs.
Band/artists: rage against the machine, sublime, dave mathews band and they might be giants are probably my all time favorites.
Store: umm. I really don't know.
Vacation spot: Ireland probably or florida.
Ice cream flavor: cherry cordial or mint chocolate chip.
Fruit: strawberries and blueberries.
Candy: eh. maybe one hundred grands.
Car: I am fond of the chrystler 300.
Holiday: christmas. it is in only five days :).
Day of the week: I have always been fond of thursdays.
Color: green and purple.
Magazine: I don't really read magazines.
naim for a gurl: sydney.
Name for a boy: connor.
Sports team: cleveland cavaliers.
Month: april or november.
Actress: scarlet johanson.
Actor: johnny depp.
Tv show: desperate housewives and grey's anatomy.
Web site: www.tmrmusic.com :)
Animal: elephant.
E-mail buddy: I don't e-mail often. but I get e-mails from dan for key club a lot. so maybe him.
Concert you have been to: there are wayy to many good ones to choose.
Cd: sean paul. thanks to wonderful lisa.
Smell: downy.
Feeling: goooooood.
Number: 12
Book: the catcher in the rye. and probably lords of discipline when I finish it.

Not so favorite
Car: scion.
Color: yellow.
Day of the week and why: sunday.
Holiday: none.
Month: none stick out as bad.
Sport: they are all pretty good.
Male athlete: I am ok with most.
Movie: umm. U571. gah.
Food: peanut butter.
Drink: ginger ale.
Band: creed.
Male singer: I don't know.
Female singer: I don't know.
Animal: bison. :/
Store: home depot.
E-mail buddy: no comment.
Saying: I know there has to be one but I can't think of one right now.
Radio station: 102.1. I have to listen to the christmas music they play at work.
Pizza topping: olvies.
Smell: you.
Feeling: bad.

in the past 24 hours have you
Had a serious talk? mildly.
Hugged someone? yes.
Fought with a friend? no.
Cried? no.
Laughed? yes.
Made someone laugh? yes.
Bought something? yes.
Flirted with someone? yes.
Felt stupid? yes.
Talked to someone you love? yes.
Missed someone? yes.

have you ever
Done drugs? yes.
Eaten an entire box of oreos? no. not a big fan.
Been dumped? yes.
Had someone be unfaithful to you? no.
Watched punky brewster? no.
Stayed home on saturday night, just because? yes.
Been in love? no.
Seen the white house? no.
Seen the eiffel tower? yes.
Tried smoking? yes.
Drank alcohol? yess.
Smoked marijuana? yes.
Played monopoly? yes.
Kissed someone? yes.
French kissed someone? yes.
Lost your virginity? no comment.
Tried a weight loss program? no.
Jumped on a trampoline? yes.
Colored in a coloring book(and had fun)? hell yes.
Had a bubble bath? yes. I love them.
Been on a plane? yes.
Been on a boat? yes.
Been on a train? yes.
Been in a car accident? yes.
Ridden an elephant? yes.
Made a web page? yes.
Played with barbies: yes.
Stayed up all night? yes. too many times.
Shoved stuff under your bed to make your room look clean? yes.
Broken a bone? yes.
Called a physchic or sex hotline? I think I have actually. haha.
Watched jerry springer? yes.
Gotten in trouble for talking in class? umm. a lot.
Been afraid of the dark? yes.
Been in the hospital(not visiting)? yes.
Had stitches? yes. twice.
Dumped someone and regretted it? no.
Went out with more than one person at a time? not technically.
Lied? not too much. I am bad at it.
Been arrested? no.
Fallen asleep in class? yes.
Met a celebrity? yes.
Broken the law? yes.
Skipped class? no.
Hated yourself? nope, we're tight.
Been brokenhearted? not really.
Broken someone's heart? not really.
Wanted to kill someone? not really.
Fallen off a chair? yes.
Lap danced? I don't think so actually.
Been in a fist fight? no.
Been in a cat fight? no.

do you
Like to give hugs? yes.
Like to walk in the rain? yes.
Prefer black or blue pens? blue.
Dress up on halloween? yes. I was a mouse this year.
Have a job? yes.
Like someone? sure.
Sleep on your side, tummy or back? side.
Want to marry? who? yes. I have no idea who.
Have a goldfish? no.
Ever have the falling dream? often.
Have stuffed animals? no.

other
Do you belive in the horoscopes: sure.
Do you like your handwriting: usually.
If you could be anybody, who would you be? I don't know.
What superhero would you be: Panthera.
Do you have any piercings: yes.
Are you picky: not usually. depending on what it is.
What makes you cry: not a lot. usually laughing.
What makes you mad: nothing really.
Who do you admire: Z.
Do you like cartoons: I like the aquateen hungerforce and family guy.
What did you do today : went to school for the last day before break. then worked. then went out to dinner.
Do you even have a job you lazy bum: yes. this was already a question.
Are your parents annoying: sometimes.
Do you floss: yes.
What is the farthest your have traveled: france. or Ireland I don't know which is farther :/ haha.
What kind of shampoo do you use: panteine pro v.
What about conditioner: same.
Do you use big words to sound smart: sometimes I suppose.
When you get mad, do you swear a lot: i swear regularly, and i don't get mad often.
Got milk: no thanks.
Do you have a magic 8 ball: I used to.
Name something that comes in threes: kings.
Ever worn black nail polish: yes. to try and drive away stephan cornish. haha. eek.
Do you have hairy arms: no?
How many sheets are on your bed: only one right now, the other is in the laundry.
Whats under your bed: nothing.
Do you have your own tv and vcr: finally. I just hijacked it from the hallway.
Do you believe in fate: sure.
Do you see dead people: ....i see assholes, all the time, they don't know they're assholes, they talk to me like realy people....
Are you a good speller: I doubt it.
Do you like little kids: actually. not really lately. I hate to say it. which is strange. it just came out of nowhere.
Are you talented: I can dance/play basketball/rap like there is no tomorrow.
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procrastinating. [Nov. 21st, 2005|12:14 am]
[mood | distressed]
[music |Radiohead. "Paranoid Android" <3]

ok. so here's the thing. I really need a boyfriend, but I don't want to meet anyone new. So I don't really know how this is going to work. haha. Maybe I am too lazy for a boyfriend. No that's impossible. I mean, there are a couple dudes around here I like... but that doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere so maybe when I go away to college I'll find one. gah. But I really don't want to meet anyone new. I just want a boyfriend who will:

-watch tv with me.
-play basketball.
-go out for coffee every once in a while.
-and play the occasional video game.
-oh and watch some basketball, etc.

and someone who is:

-nice.
-smart.
-funny.
-cute.

is that so much to ask? Why is someone like this so hard to find?
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Larry Hughs = hella cute. [Nov. 11th, 2005|10:16 pm]
[mood |much better]
[music |death cab-still.]

The cavs ripped the grizzlies a new one.

And I need to make something clear, that call from Steven was not pointless, it cheered me up like nobody's business. As did the voicemail he left. They both put huge smiles on my face.

:)
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I'm confused. [Nov. 11th, 2005|06:17 pm]
[mood | weird]
[music |Death Cab for Cutie "I Will Follow You Into The Dark.]

I think I am dying.

The beginning of this week was amazing. I don't really remember why. But I remember feeling really good. Now I am back down where I belong... no I don't belong here, back where I've been before is more appropriate to say. But school is going really well. I aced to tests this week. in Physics and Alg/Trig. Veronica and I decided I should be an architect. And I think that is a good idea actually, and it had never crossed my mind before. But that sad part is the first thing that came to my mind was I was afraid I would have to interact with people. Which is also why I am hesitant to get my teaching degree. I don't know why that is always in the back of my mind. There are honeslty only two people my age that I hang out with regularly, and enjoy it. I mean, I am sure there are more I could have fun with, but I am too afraid to put myself out there. And it's not even afraid of them, and it certainly isn't worrying about if they'll like me or not. It is purely that I am afraid that I won't enjoy myself. Which proves to be wrong just about every time I ignore it. But even so. I don't know. Maybe it's just that these people are all I need. And I'm sure writing these journal entries don't help with continuing to get invited anywhere. hah.

Anyway, about my week, It was really great in the beginning, but now I havn't talked to anyone.. and am feeling kind of lonely. I mean, I finally have plans with my girl Kristen again, and I am really excited about that, and Caitlin and I are hanging out Sunday. But like I havn't talked to Justus or Sarah for a couple days... and that's wierd. Granted I've been dying the last couple days. But Steven called me today :). That cheered me up, even though it was the most pointless five minute conversation I have ever participated in. And he woke me up when he called. haha. But that's ok.

And there's something else I want to write about... but the person might read it. And I don't really want him knowing how I am feeling right now. haha. That's always a good step. And the only person I can talk openly to about it is going out of town and I won't see her till sunday :/.


I am going to go get ready to watch the cavs game. And look forward to tomorrow night :). This was probably a really pointless entry. But I think I feel a little better.

Oh I remember why I wrote it.... I got down about being young again. heh. I need to cut that the fuck out. right now.... yeah, that won't work.
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I have come to the realization.... [Oct. 30th, 2005|11:20 am]
[mood | thankful]
[music |shuffle- right now Tom Waits.]

...that I really love the people around me.

Now that I havn't been painting very often, I've been interacting with people more, thinking about how i treat the ones that love me and whatnot. I know this is going to sound reallllly cheesey, but I love my family so much, like my entire family, extended and all. Like, they are so open minded and loving, and I know no matter what happends they will always be there for me if I need them. I mean, I have always known this, but it just hit me recently how great they are to have so close. Tyler and I actaully talked for the first time in a long time last night, and we are planning to hang out a lot more than we have been. I don't know how I never see him but live with him, I miss him so much. Props to Justus too for being an awesome brother too. And Jessica, Caitlin and Sarah, you guys are amazing; I don't know what I would do without you. You too Kristin.

And even some old friends have been coming back into my life. Rebecca and I actually have plans to hang out again tomorrow. I havn't seen that girl in like, two years. We used to spend just about every waking hour together, and we had soo much fun. I'm really excited to see her again. And Friday night I slept over Annie's house with people I havn't hung out with in foreverrrr. It was so much fun.

This all sounds so dorky, but it's true. And it all just hit me.

I am so excited about graduating, and I honestly have been since freshman year, but I wonder if I'm going to miss highschool. The duct taped carpet, the shitty bathrooms, the strict hall rules, the fact that you can get around the hall monitors by not making eye contact, the insane people in my classes, the teachers that just hand out grades, the antics, the gross lunches, etc. Wow. This has been my entire life. And I am about to start a new one. This is big. But I can not wait. This year is already 1/4 of the way done, and it's only going to be going by faster from here on out. This is big. And I am ready, I think. Yeah, yeah I am, this is what the last 17 years of my life has gone to strive for. Damn, that's a wierd thought.... I wonder what the next 17 years will result in.
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eh... [Oct. 20th, 2005|08:15 pm]
[mood | cold]
[music |Barenaked Ladies]

I don't know what I'm doing.

So I am not even going to talk in depth about anything.

But the only things I have been actually into lately is this sweet paper mache mask I am making in art.

I hope it turns out ok.

I'm surprised I find it so relaxing.

and caitlin, jessica and I are going to watch all the star wars in order.

and have a little somin' somin'.

and I was really excited about my halloween party.

I need to get excited about that again.

I slept for four hours after school today.

my car is getting fixed, again.

this weekend should be cool.

Jesse is sleeping over tomorrow then me, him, and Jessica are going to BG for the weekend.

I hope I just stop thinking so much and have fun.

It crossed my mind that maybe I want to go away to a party school.

but I don't know.
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I'm probably dying. [Oct. 17th, 2005|05:07 pm]
[mood | contemplative]
[music |Alkaline Trio]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I go through these stages where all I want to do is stay in my room and paint until I pass out. Then the next week I'll think about art and be completely disgusted and repulsed with the idea. Apparently I have the insanity part down if I want to be a good artist. But the world isn't even like that. It's not about art anymore. Not indivuality. It's about a bunch of other shit that I wish I could do so I can actually live. But no, art is all I can or even want to do... but I get disgusted by it at the same time. I hate those intellectuals that think they're so superior than everyone else because they can look at the world through creative eyes. If I ever get like that I hope someone shoots me before my opinions come out of my mouth. But at the same time.. that seems like what you have to be like to change anything or get your work noticed. How disgusting. I just want to paint my life away and keep it in my little box of finished canvases that will soon be taking over my room completely. I actually had the drive to put my work in the end of the year art show at school, but my teacher said I had to be in art 4 to do it. I was upset for a couple days because I am already behind enough from not taking enough art as it is, and I don't believe I should be penalized any more that I already have been. But that's when I got repulsed by how much it meant to me to get recognition for doing the only thing I like. How greedy and self-obsorbed. I hate artists- that's including myself.

I don't even know what I like anymore- not to mention who I like. I think I think too much about how I always hang out with justus' friends. Sarah and Justus said they all enjoy hanging out with me aswell, and that I shouldn't care so much. I started thinking about where I would be if I didn't have Justus to be there for me, and if I didn't have him I would lose two of my best friends (Justus and Sarah). I don't know what I would do without Sarah. Then I started thinking what if Tyler feels this way? I'm like a hole in his life. I mean, I might as well not exist. I need to spend more time with him. Especially now when he is going through these years. But I'll think all this and then he treats me like shit. And i know he doesn't mean it, and I know he loves me, and will do anything for me that is of any importance, but I don't know. Maybe I'm not a good sister. But I'm not like Justus. I can't care for people like that, or be so open to change. I am still trying to sort out my own life, I can't help Tyler grow. I could mess it up so easily. And I know he is smart enough and independent enough that he probably doesn't even need me right now. It seems like I never even see him though- and he still lives at home. Maybe because he plays so many sports. Maybe he has that so he doesn't need me. I know we will be hella tight in a couple years though. most def. And I can't wait until we come to that point. I just hope my sad excuse of sisterhood doesn't make him an unbalenced dude. But think about it- how many siblings really think this much about eachother, So I have to be somewhat ahead of the game, right?

Sarah said something to me last night about how I make stories up in my head. I know she was completely kidding, but I think it's true. It's probably because I think too much about things. i.e. boys. There's this one dude who I "dated" a couple years ago, but we broke up because he was away at college and whatnot, and I finally got him out of my head recently, but I hung out with him like a month ago, right before he went back to school, and there was definitely something there still, but now I keep thinking about him. damnit. The worst thing is that no matter what I feel like anyone I go out with won't be enough to make me forget about him. Well, there are a couple that might, but once again I am too young. And the idea of dating a guy that is in highschool seems like such a wierd idea to me. I don't know if that is normal or not. But I think the only thing to do is wait until I'm 18 for these other dudes, or get out and meet new dudes. Which sounds good in theory but I don't have the desire to meet new people. I don't know why- but I don't. Maybe because I watch too much Laguna Beach and think all guys outside of my brother's nerdy friends are like that. I hate this vision of all dudes outside of north olmsted and outside of the phoenix being ridiculously athletic metrosexuals that has been formulated in my mind from watching too much Mtv.


Conclusion: stop thinking so much and read this book so I don't fail my English test tomorrow.
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I can't do this anymore. [Sep. 17th, 2005|02:36 pm]
[mood | pensive]
[music |shuffle. currently on "Orion" by Jethro Tull]

From now on I am only surrounding myself with people I can rely on, enjoy being around, and not worry about how much they're talking about me behind my back.
even if I only have three people like that.
I just broke down completely today.
and then Veronica gave me one line of advice.
that really helped.
I can't let people control how I feel.
and when and if people make me feel like that, I shouldn't be around them anyway.
but seriously.
I can't live like this.
it's bad for health.
I'm not going to expect anything reasonable from these people anymore.
all I get is let down.
every time.
I wish I could make my own friends.
and not just my brother's.
but all(well not all) of the ones I pick seem to suck at being friends.
and I think I deserve better.
don't I?
I never did anything inconsiderate to my friends.
did I?
no, not conciously anyway.
maybe I just need to do a alot of drugs.
yeah.
I need to do a lot of drugs, hang out with people I like, and stop listening to sad music.
but my music is on shuffle.
and it's going straight to every sad song I have.
pfft.
I need to work on my portfolio for BW.
I also need to decide if I want to live on campus there or not.
I got an application to volunteer at the science center with veronica and dan.
I'm pretty excited about it actually.
I'm not going to lie--- my heart skipped a few beats when I walked in there.
think of all the hot boys that go there.
oh it's going to be good.
hah.
I don't even know what I want anymore.
maybe I need to meditate.
or paint more.
that'll help I think.
umm.
I guess I'll go now.
visit max at work.
then have dinner with sarah.
then go see body works at the science center<3.
I think too much.
that's where the robo will come in :).
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holy cow. [Sep. 12th, 2005|10:56 pm]
[mood | crazy]
[music |"this is the last time"-Keane]

I just realized it's my half birthday!

only six months until the big one eight!
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"skeeeeeeeeedle deeeeeeeeeedle" [Sep. 12th, 2005|08:53 pm]
[mood | quixotic]
[music |"Get it Together"-Beastie Boys]

so I just realized that I always put my mood as calm or mellow... so here goes some crazy moods starting today.

I just decided I don't want to write anything.

Except that I got appointed treasurer of Artisans :).

Some crazy bitch brought in like the shittiest punk music ever to listen to in Art today. As a result Joe and I almost killed eachother. And mike spilled an entire thing of ink.... again. oh, and he did it twice today.

oh, and nominated for homecoming court.
but I kind of hope I'm not in the top 3... which I probably won't have to worry about.
see, I would much rather see the motion city soundtrack show that night, instead of going to the dance.
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tuesday's coming my darling. [Sep. 11th, 2005|08:49 pm]
[mood | calm]
[music |"know your enemy" RATM]

Today was fun. I woke up hella early to hand water to the people running the cleveland clinic half marathon. It was a lot of fun actually. Lots of people showed up to help; lauren, brad, nate, steve, britney, timmy, danny, cole, sarah, pam, and her two funny-as-shit sons, max and keven I think are their names. so it was a lot of fun, and we went out to perkins after that well, most everyone did anyway. After that I went home and took a nap, then we met up to watch the browns fucking lose... like usual, then played basketball for a few hours. we had our highest game ever: 17-15 (my team :)) it was ridiculously close the entire time. anyway, it was a pretty sweet day... and I finally wasn't the only girl playing. :)I don't want to go to school tomorrow... or ever again.

....................................................................................

so. I should have never hung out with him.
I forgot ho happy he made me.
....................................................................................
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talk nerdy to me. [Aug. 24th, 2005|10:10 pm]
[mood | mellow]
[music |phantom planet]

so school started today. I guess it wasn't too bad. there is a class or two that I'm dreading... but the rest should be pretty sweet. after school johnny tsunami and I went to the great wall of china and best buy. he got jealous because gwen stefani gets all the hot asain girls. haha. I've decided to put in my two weeks notice tomorrow. that was random. I'm really excited for great religions this year. firstly because the topic interests me and secondly because our teacher is soooo nerdy and so fucking awesome. I'm also excited about art 2. it's going to be sweet. my teacher already tried talking me into taking up the last spot in ap art history... which I would fucking LOVE to take... but it would mess up my entire scheduale... so I suppose I'll just wait until college. so yeah... I'm just happy about early outs really, and art.

oh, and making spring break plans is fun too. florida here we come!
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who ever knew life could taste sooo good? [Aug. 23rd, 2005|04:37 pm]
[mood | calm]
[music |o.a.r. <3]

It's the last day of summer, and the first school year that there isn't even a hint of desire in me to return. I think I have changed a lot this summer. I've become more relaxed than ever, but much more outgoing around new people... that's probably because I have a job now... which I'm about done with... I mean it's not bad.. but they work me to the fucking bone.

I've stopped caring what anyone thinks... not that I ever really did.. but I am making sure I don't now. I am addicted to a few new things; o.a.r., basketball <3 <3, coffee (more so than before, pajamas, and last but not least--- the phoenix. thanks to kristen.

So much ridiculous shit has been happening to me the last couple weeks... i.e. getting flooded in the mall parking lot, getting a flat tire in the most retarded spot ever, etc. but I suppose it's good that I have a sense of humor about my life being such a fucking joke... I'm surprised I'm in a good mood despite all of it...

I've realized that I have about three good friends my age... and the rest of the time I hang out with older people. But I realized I don't think I would want to change that anyway. I need a boyfriend... I don't get it though... there's a dude I like but I get a little nervous around him... I never get nervous... not even around other boys I like... maybe there's something different about this one? who knows..

I think I may go to dances this year... maybe... I have only ever been to one. The first one of freshman year. hah. I can't wait to get out at 2:10pm this year. Cool how that's the only thing I am looking forward to. haha.

I saw so many people I knew at work yesterday... one in-particular was this dude, dan who I havn't seen since like fifth grade! haha. I went out with him for like two days... he remembered my name too... and he didn't even look at my name tag. haha. It was nice seeing him. I thought he had moved or something.

anyway, I have to go pick my brother up from football....

wow, it was nice writing in this again.
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Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say. [Nov. 5th, 2004|12:05 am]
[mood | contemplative]
[music |"You" -Radiohead]

I havn't been so good lately. I think I have a migrain, and I think I've had it for a couple weeks. I feel bad, I was kind of an ass to everyone. Basically everyone except Jimmy Hunt, Racheal and Seth Parker. I was nice on the bus on the way home too... by that time I was so god damn happy I was going home. School is killing me. I have the attention span of a knat, and the drive of a fucking can of soda. Oh well.

I am so stressed about finding a college. I really love CASE's campus, it's beautiful, and it's a really good school. See, I don't want to have to work hard at school though, and be stressed the whole time. So I am thinking about Baldwin Wallace. It has a much more relaxed atmosphere. But I don't like the campus quite as much. I am pretty sure I want to stay near home though. But I am open to new ideas. I think I want to major in History and Political Science. Maybe be a high school history teacher. I love English, but I have never been good at it. I love art too, but I have lost my drive for that in the last few years. I have time to decide.

Damn. I am starting to realize I really should have put forth an effort at school. I mean, I have always gotten pretty good grades, As and Bs, and I've always been in honors classes. But I feel like I have never tried. Not really tried anyway. Damnit. I am realizing I could have had like all straight A's if I worked hard at school. I wish I wasn't so god damn lazy.

I just read The Catcher In The Rye, Damn what a fucking good book. I'd have to say one of the best I've ever read. I'm not going to lie, I teared up a little at the end. Oh my god, it was fantastic.

I have a few other things to say, but I should probably go to bed.
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My Weekend. [Jun. 6th, 2004|03:33 pm]
[mood | accomplished]
[music |The Kicks "Satellite"]

This weekend has been pretty cool. Friday I played video games until it was time to leave for the TMR show. I drove there! whoo hoo. When I pulled in the parking lot I met up with Jessica and we went over to the record exchange to get my new cd player (all 3 of mine broke, and I needed one for France). Dave was working, and I got his address for his party. I got my awesome lime green cd player. It's my first portable Sony. All the rest were Panasonics, and those were obviously not working for me.

We went back to Isabella's and Andrew, Ryan, and Thomas had not saved seats for us, so we sat with Sarah. Tina came, and we played some cards. Chris Dolar came later. Chris, Katie Berry, and I talked about France (he just got home from three months in France, and some time in Africa.) George stopped in for a little while. Ryan Thomas and Andrew came over by us and danced.

After the show Tina and Jessica came over my house to play video games, but Andrew Thomas and Ryan showed up, so because there were too many of us we had to stay outside. which sucked major ass because it was cold. Jessica went home, and everyone else decided to go to Andrew's. I wanted to go too, but my parents said no because we had to get up early for Geauga Lake the next day. I was kinda pissed. Dude, once I get my liscence this won't happen.

Saturday I woke up at about 8:45am, when my family was leaving for Geauga Lake. Justus and Sarah came to pick me up about an hour later, we then picked up Jessica and went on our way. Luckally it was chilly outside. Which is good when you are walking around all day. First we went on the X-Flight, Justus almost shit his pants. haha. Then we went on all the other roller coasters. I think we went on all the ones that were working, at least all the ones that looked cool. It was a lot of fun.

Today I told my parents I couldn't do any chores because I need to study. Then I realized how much I hate studying to I played Tetris a few times, and now I am here. They know I'm not working...

I got to sleep in until 12:30pm today!

I think I am going to see Shrek 2 tonight!

1 week and 2 days until France!

I have been listening to the cd "Hello Hong Kong" by the Kicks for the last few days. It is awesome. I saw them open for Sloan. They were better than Sloan. On the way out of the show, they were having a cigarette outside. As we passed Justus said "Good job guys" and they said "Thanks, you too." hah.
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